


Black Widow, Baby

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Arachnophobia, F/F, Humor, Intimacy, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3695651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh shit there's a spider on the wall. </p><p>And Barbara hates spiders. </p><p>What is Arryn to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Widow, Baby

Lying on the couch, we find Arryn Zech and Barbara Dunkelman snuggled close, the blonde telling the story of a man who had gotten rather too close for comfort. They soon find they're not alone. 

"So I said to him-," Barbara ended her sentence abruptly as she saw Arryn's eyes suddenly widely. "What?" 

"Uh, um. . .n-nothing." The Texan lied nervously, eyes glued on the spider on the wall beside Barbara. She knew the 'brave and fearless' Dunkelman absolutely despised insects and arachnids were no exception. "Go ahead and continue." 

Barbara narrowed her eyes but kept speaking. "Anyway, I said to him, 'Fuck off, I've already got someone on my mind.'" Arryn glanced away from the spider to smile at Barbara, giving her an Eskimo kiss. 

But when she pulled back and her eyes searched for the awful creature, she was horrified to find it gone. 

"Oh shiiiit." The raven haired girl mouthed. Barbara arched an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

"Nothing!" Arryn squeaked, trying to act normal by resting her head on her palm. She laughed nervously. 

"Are you. . .okay?" Barbara asked. "Because you're acting rather. . .odd." 

"Pfft! No I'm not! You are!" The Texan fired back, eyes shifting back and forth. A brief weight was lifted off her shoulder as she spotted the spider. However, it returned ten fold when she realized it was hanging from the ceiling, right above Barbara's head. 

Eyes wide Arryn took the only action deemed necessary. 

She yanked the blonde towards her and pulled her into a deep kiss, keeping her head away from the suspended arachnid. The Canadian hummed into the kiss and wrapped her in a hug. This made Arryn's job more difficult as her hands were no longer free. 

The Texan opened her eyes, still kissing back with enough fervor to fool Barbara, and looked for something she could the creature with. 

Barb's shoe was just within reach! 

Her hand gripped the converse's outsole and tried to pull it off. 

Barbara broke off the kiss briefly to let out a breathy laugh and nip at the raven haired girl's lip. "Ooh shedding our clothes now, are we?" 

As Arryn managed to pop the shoe off, she gasped as Barbara started to tug down her capris. She blushed but allowed the blonde to continue as she tried to squash the still hanging spider. 

But as the Texan wielded the converse and tried to guide the eight-legged mongrel to the wall to squash it, a sudden jerk as Barbara slid her capris down to her ankles led to her accidentally cutting the silk that held the spider up. It disappeared into the couch. 

"Oh fuck me." She whispered, just loud enough for Barbara to hear. The blonde chuckled. 

"That is what I plan on doing." In seconds, she was at her collarbone, hands toying with her body. While Arryn would feel so special had this been at any other time, currently she wish her girlfriend would just step out of the room so she could kill the vermin. 

There was no way she'd make love while there was a very good chance spider could pop out. 

"You wanna let me take your shirt off or is this going to be hips down kind of thing?" Barbara teased, tugging at the fabric of her tank top. 

Great. Now she'd have to exterminate the beast topless. 

She raised her hands and allowed the blonde to undress her, all the while irises pursuing the arachnid as it revealed itself from the couch cushions. It was dangerously close to Barbara's leg. 

Her tank top hit the floor just in time for her to tackle Barbara to the other side of the furniture. The Canadian giggled, lovingly and gently slapping the Texan's stomach. Arryn smiled, tempted to just screw the spider and let herself love the blonde but she knew she couldn't. That spider needed to _die_. 

She cupped Barbara's cheek and kissed her once more, looking away once she knew the Canadian's eyes were closed. But she found that the creature had once again evaded her and was no where in sight. 

All color drained from her face as she felt little, barely noticeable taps on her skin. But she knew that the spider was crawling on her. While she was practically naked no less! 

How the hell was she supposed to kill it now? She may have been able to brush off the other actions but Barbara would notice if she shook her leg panicked. 

She whimpered into the kiss as the hellspawn reached the back of her thigh. Barbara took this as a cue and moved her hands to Arryn's back, unclasping her bra. 

Once it fell down to her wrists, Barbara groped her chest, a loud moan erupting from the Texan. 

She felt so good yet so unnerved at the same time. It was driving her crazy. 

When the spider reached the bottom of her panties she knew it was time to take action. 

The raven haired girl slid the last piece of clothing down to her ankles, taking the arachnid with it. 

Arryn kicked them to the floor, eyes watching the underwear closely. She glared as the spider peeked out. 

She moved back into the kiss, allowing pleasured noises escape her as Barbara went to work on both of her lady parts. 

Now this was her chance to strike. 

Arryn grabbed Barbara's shoe from earlier and smashed it onto the spider, grinning as it was squashed into the carpet. It was soon replaced with a frown as she realized that was an expensive carpet that was now ruined with the messy carcass of an arachnid. 

But, nonetheless, she was victorious! 

Now finally she could return to- 

Both Barbara and Arryn looked at their ceiling to find a large cockroach skittering over to their ceiling fan. 

"AAAAAAHHH!"


End file.
